Facebook Post

(And this one was just recently written and posted on my FB wall. Wrote it to get over that person)

One of the rare moments I type something deep about relationships (okay, this is something induced by the magic powers of Tanduay Ice which by the way I am not going to drink anymore).

If there was a god/goddess of balance; I would trade my brains and intelligence to be someone near your standards. If it was within my power; I would trade my insane dream of physician-hood just to meet your criteria. If I can, I would go back in time and suppress my scientific leanings and go with the corporate world. I would give up my dream with no regrets. 

If only...

But I can't. I can't change who I am and what I want. This is me, with the honesty and awkwardness. This is me with the bluntness and transparency. This is me, struggling with these types of emotions because such emotions are my weakness. This is all of me: nothing is held back and nothing is hidden because I believe in giving one's self fully to an Other. Funny how you're made aware of your heart beating when you're intimately studying the intricacies of the human body.

This is not a call for pity. Heck, I hate being pitied upon. Rather, this is a rant made possible by Tanduay Ice. Couple that while taking a cab home with sappy 80's love songs being played over the car radio. And while typing this; listened to sad songs.

You say I'll meet someone better but I don't know. There is no one better. I may seem this storm of emotions but I'm more like a North star shining constantly and brightly. Honestly, I do not make statements lightly. I stand by with what I say.

This is not out of desperation. This is just me typing, with Tanduay Ice making my fingers dance along the keyboard faster. You may laugh at this because I cite Tanduay Ice as my influence but doesn't alcohol remove your inhibitions? In my case, it focuses my mind.

I may die tomorrow, or the day after or even 6 hours from now but I am certain of my prior statements. We may come from different and opposite backgrounds but that's the beauty of it.

But of course, the ball is in your court. If there is a god/goddess of balance; I would not ask that deity to change your mind.

Later, I'll wake up. You may or may not read this post but it doesn't matter. This isn't even a confession because you've already known this. You'll go your separate way and I'll go mine. We'll still be friends but whatever happens after this post doesn't change what I typed here.

(P.S. Thinking of you as my inspiration for Biochemistry did work. Got an 86.95 for my final grade in the 3rd Block. If I happen to top the Boards; you'll know that at least you're partly responsible).